Via Popcrunch
Joaquin Phoenix
Supposedly, Joaquin Pheonix has retired from acting to pursue a career in hip-hop. From his terrible debut performance in Vegas, to his horrendous interview on the Late Show with David Letterman, one can only hope this awkward white guy gets run down by some gangstas and taught a lesson about the consequences for disrespecting hip hop.
John Cena
Notably, John Cena is a bad ass. But why the hell did he feel the need to follow in the footsteps of Macho Man Randy Savage into the abyss of post-Wrestlemania hip-hop (anti-) stardom? Not only does Cena spend money uselessly on producing wrestling-inspired rhymes, he also spends his time free-styling and battling with fans. I guess John Cena doesn’t understand that steroids can’t help with everything.
Tila Tequila
Tila Tequila is not real. She is a digital concoction dreamed up by the perverted old men who run MTV. The one executive who has a thing for underage Southeast Asian children introduced the idea for Tila Tequila when he started a MySpace page for her in 2003. Apparently, Americans are more gullible than ever, because she continues to have a presence in pop culture. She released her record in 2007 to limited fanfare, which boasted hip-hop rhymes that sounded like a childish version of Fred Durst (oh, rearry?). MTV should apologize for inventing her, and hold a one-hour reality show that literally roasts Tila Tequila over an open flame.
